LUFPAN
04-05-2007, 09:44 AM
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
1. 40-ish.................................49.
2. Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.
3. Athletic...............................No breasts.
4. Average looking...................Moooo.
5. Beautiful.............................Pathological liar.
6. Emotionally Secure...............On medication.
7. Feminist..............................Fat.
8. Free spirit............................Junkie.
9. Friendship first.....................Former ****.
10. New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places.
11. Open-minded.....................Desperate.
12. Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing.
13. Professional........................B!tch.
14. Wants soul mate................Stalker.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You'd better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex a ll you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay.
1. 40-ish.................................49.
2. Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.
3. Athletic...............................No breasts.
4. Average looking...................Moooo.
5. Beautiful.............................Pathological liar.
6. Emotionally Secure...............On medication.
7. Feminist..............................Fat.
8. Free spirit............................Junkie.
9. Friendship first.....................Former ****.
10. New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places.
11. Open-minded.....................Desperate.
12. Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing.
13. Professional........................B!tch.
14. Wants soul mate................Stalker.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You'd better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex a ll you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay.